Thursday, September 12, 2013

I'm Not Getting Married. Now Where Am I Going To Wear My Dress?

What if, what if not all of us are meant to find that one person to spend the rest of our lives with?  What if this in fact, is a rare thing?  What if we are all just playing out a social program instilled in us from childhood?  What if we are meant to meet who we meet, learn from them all we can then part amicably when we no longer serve each other's well being.  What if some of our relationships are meant to be a few nights, weeks, months, years, decades?  What if when we entered relationships we stopped thinking THIS COULD BE THE FOREVER ONE? What if when we were in a relationship we didn't spend it questioning if we can put up with this particular persons annoying or disrespectful habits for the rest of our lives, adding way more stress and of course focus on changing said persons' habits? 

What if we entered every relationship with the mind frame of: let us learn from each other, let us share the things we care about, let us grow as people, let us have a damn good time?  Rather than trying to see if every relationship can turn into a marriage?  This idea of forever can make us feel like we must stick with this person no matter what; no matter how much our interests have changed, no matter how much we are no longer growing, no matter how miserable we are becoming.  All this misery simply because our culture has put such a high value on getting married and having kids as a measure of success. 

This being questioned:  I believe that soulmates exist.  I believe that there are people who are meant to spend their lives together. I also believe that we can have more than one soulmate, that we are meant to share portions of our lives with certain people.  I just don't think that it's healthy for us all to feel that we have failed in some way should we not have fully commited to another person before we die, or that we are weak or didn't try hard enough if we left relationships that were not healthy for us.  Scott and I will not be getting married, we will however for the time being; continue to learn from eachother, share things we care about, grow as people and have a damn good time.