Friday, December 25, 2015

Christmas Not So alone

So, as described earlier, I have no kids or romantic partner I am spending today (the 25th of December if the date somehow is not working on the blog) with.  I am starting this blog by typing in the bathroom because I can.  Because no one is going to knock on the door while I'm in here.  I'm just going to bask in that for the next paragraph or so.

I tried to stay up late last night reading, but given that I was exhausted from a busy day at work and had two glasses of champagne in me, I was asleep by 11:30.  Then of course I couldn't sleep in past 8.  Which was fine, I spent an hour looking up my dreams on dream interpretation websites, just to confirm what I already knew.  Nothing like a dream interpretation ego boost to get you going in the morning.

My roommate headed out the door shortly after I got downstairs.  There was a combined gift from my good friend and a wise woman who helped me clear out my storage.  Pickled milk thistle (which I will be trying tonight) and an inspirational quote that so suits where I am in life.  I was looking for my headphones for my hike and I saw them... beautiful arm warmers from Willowfern.  And a note from my roommate saying:  in case you did not know....Arm warmers.  They were beautiful.  The colours were great.  I totally hesitated picking them up.  They didn't have my name on them... Are they really for me?  I wondered.  I was scared to pick them up.  What if they are really for someone else?  I left the room and did a few things then came back to look at them.  No one else lives here. I had to tell myself.  They are for you.  Then I got all teary.

Why did I hesitate?  Because I have not had close friends in half a decade.  No one aside from my children or occasionally Scott, left me gifts.  That's not to say my family never gives me gifts...just not little surprises.  I'm not used to so much kindness and giving in my life from friends.  For many
years I collected acquaintances.  I had a friend/business partner but we were both very busy women and tried to catch up the best we could on our way to teaching classes.  Another friend and I have drifted apart since my break-up, the truth is though, cultivating friendships was simply not something I had any energy left for.  Until a few months ago.

So on my way to my hike I stopped by my friend's for a visit, which turned into chatting for over an hour.  Then halfway down Hunters Bay Trail I turned around and started walking back.  Something said you need to head home. As soon as I came in  I checked my Facebook and saw that another friend was having a singalong at her place for those who don't have family with them this Christmas, so I thought,why not?  And headed over there just in time for it to start.

Some people are just so warm and welcoming they put you right at ease.  In fact I was so at ease (I think the glass or two of wine I drank may have had something to do with this) that I attempted The Immigrant Song  on Karaoke.    So much fun.  I am so grateful to them for putting out that invitation.

I left and unlocked my door to my empty quiet home and took a moment to listen to the ticking clock.
I called my dad and mom when I got home to wish them a merry Christmas.  It's going on 7pm and I have a glass of bubbly wine started and the big question on my mind is: Which book am I going to risk dropping in the bathtub tonight?  I'm thinking Game of Thrones.

I'm finishing off my dinner of cherry pie.  Kind of wishing that I was having sex tonight; I ovulated today so I know this is simply a hormonal thing that will pass and be followed by bloating and sore swollen boobs that will make me feel the opposite of sexy.  So there you have it, Christmas without family or a romantic partner need not be a horrible experience.  Put time and effort into friendships, into finding what gives you joy and watch as everyday can be fulfilling, even the ones our society puts such high expectations on.

Merry Christmas, may all my friends and family find their light within.