Monday, December 14, 2015

Illusions of Strength

Don't be a victim
I was told as a child that the strong stand up for themselves.
I was told as a child that the strong spoke up for themselves.
I was told as a child that the strong don't take shit from people.
You fight to be treated with respect.

So I stood up and faced him, I yelled back and told him I wouldn't take his shit.
Then I felt like I wasn't being a victim, because I fought back.

Everytime I did these things, I victimized myself. I co-created an unhealthy pattern in my relationship.  I allowed things to happen repeatedly under this illusion that as long as I stood up, spoke up and fought for respect, I was being strong.

I wish someone had taught me that standing up for yourself, actually meant standing up and walking away.  Because then the next two lessons would be unnecessary.  

I wish someone had told me that any respect that had to be "fought" for was not respect at all and therefore not worthy of the fight to begin with.

The fighters don't understand the walkers, but the walkers understand that.