Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Just Fine

Did a YouTube 10 minute body scan to recharge myself.  It started at the top of my head,  and moved it's way down.  When it moved to my chest, I took a moment to focus on my heart. It hurt, my heart really hurt.  But not with missing Scott. It was full of anxiety, shame, it needed reassurance.  So I imagined myself holding it.  I told it that I am sorry it is hurting.  I told it that I don't blame it for loving.  That is was good for it to love.  That I am proud of it for loving so deeply.  I'm not angry at it anymore, and I never should have been.

I missed focussing on the upper legs and a few other spots, however it think I focussed exactly where I needed to.

I loved wholly, I gave myself completely.  This is what my heart does, it is good at it.  I just need to find a chamber for myself in it, and I will be just fine.