Friday, December 25, 2015

WARNING: TMI tongue in cheek. Read at Own Risk

Making a list of all the awesome things about being alone for a few days at Christmas.

1. Peeing with the bathroom door open.  Why? You ask, because I can.
2. Not having to turn my fan on high to hide the sound of my vibrator.
3. Singing at the top of my lungs. Everywhere.
4. Not having to put on clothes to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night also see #1
5. Eating what I want and not needing to set a good nutritional example for my children.  I ate pie for 3 out of my four meals today.
6. Dancing all around the house, sometimes like pee wee Herman
7. Game of thrones marathon where I'm not wondering if my face is as blank as I'm trying to make it be because I'm watching naked people have sex on tv while sitting next to my roommate.
8. No one reading over my shoulder while I write asking me: "What's a vibrator?"
9. Deciding to leave in 10 minutes and then actually leaving in 10 minutes.
10. Deciding to leave in 10 minutes, then not going anywhere at all.
11. Spending several minutes flexing my muscles infront of the big mirror at the bottom of the stairs.
12. Knowing I could have obnoxiously loud sex and not embarrass my roommate or wake my kids, not that I will, just that I could if I wanted to.