Whenever I'm on the cusp of a new realization I feel like emotional crap for a few days before. Kind of like labour, a mom will struggle for a few contractions then suddenly she's coping well again and probably just dilated a bit more.
Strangely enough it's been nine months since I moved to the Shelter...
I have 6 drafted posts. I want to explain why and how my fear of my ex is gone, because I am so excited about it. But I can't do it without describing some negative behaviour on his part, so I'll leave it at this: The most devastating weapon someone can use against you is your own mind. I finally feel like my mind is my own again. I finally feel like I've completely stepped out of the fog of self doubt and can't believe I ever got so lost in it to begin with.
Insecurity is your worst enemy. It can make you the perfect victim or the worst perpetrator, it can make you both.
So here I am deeply rooted in who I am, what I deserve and what those around me deserve as well. I feel So free. I feel reborn.