Friday, January 8, 2016

goals

I went to a women's group at the shelter.  They were talking about goal setting.  I've had the goal of getting my licence for a while...however I keep holding myself back.  There are no reasons for me to hold back anymore other than fear.  So instead I'm going to focus on the joy that driving will bring:
1) Travelling where public transit cannot go.

That's mostly it.  I want to take my kids on a road trip where we can go to those off the beaten path places and not have to keep checking bus/train schedules.  Don't get me wrong, I love the train, but being able to rent a car for a day or two to visit an "out there" national park in BC would be awesome.  To drive and see my family would be great too.  I really want to do these things.  I want them more than I am scared of hurting someone by making a mistake while at the wheel... A good friend of mine told me that I couldn't approach it that way, he told me that a little fear is good, but I can't avoid something potentially freeing out of the fear of something that the risk is so low.  I've been of the opinion my whole life that really, statistics don't mean much to the individual, it either happens to you or it doesn't.  That's it.  However, I feel this is one of those times where I face my fear and get stronger for it.  I'm going to make a collage of sorts of places I want to drive to, near, far where ever.  I'm going to look at it every night before I study, everyday before I bother one of my friends to let me practice (practise? I always get them confused) in their car. While I'm saving money for driving lessons etc.  I can do this.

Update: just realized that driving is probably going to seem really easy now that I've built it up so horribly in my mind... I realize that this is a paradox, but if you ever read Terry Pratchett you'd know recognizing fear is a "first thought", telling myself it will seem easy because of said fear is a "second thought", and the fact that it is paradoxical is a "third thought".  All of these thoughts are me and it's not unusual for me to disagree with myself.