Monday, January 4, 2016

Grapefruit wine gave me eye herpes

Seriously though, I have had reactions to eating citrus fruit ever since I was a young child.  My mouth breaks out in sores.  It looks like mouth herpes except last time I checked, oranges could not give you herpes.  So anyways, I love this grapefruit tasting wine and I always wondered, will this give me my stupid canker sore reactions?  I refer to them as "mine" because no one else I know gets blisters from eating citrus fruit, and therefore this particular affliction must only be possessed by yours truly.

Well anyways, I got a mouth blister after my birthday festivities, during which I drank that wine and ate many things on plates without looking at them first.  So I guess the title isn't accurate,  grapefruit wine may have given me eye herpes...but you really want to appear sure of which food product gave you herpes, because I don't want to give the impression that I go around shoving just any blister causing foods into my mouth...except for on my birthday, but I was drunk on grapefruit wine.  Anyways, I have this stupid blister on my lip which will be gone by tomorrow, but now my eye is itchy.  That's how I know I ate something citrusy and I'm about to get a blister, my mouth gets itchy and in less than 24 hours there's a blister and in 48 hours, like a two night stand that realized it should have stayed a one night stand, it's gone.   Now my eye is itchy.  Eye herpes are real.  They can move into your brain and kill you.  So now I'm all like, should I google if citrus fruit can give you eye herpes?  I realize I'm skipping a few steps in between but you know what I mean.

So I'm going to be all Zen about it.  Surely worrying about an eye herpe erupting and threatening my life will not stop it from doing so.  I shall just focus on the now and enjoy life as if there is no looming threat.  Also googling anything with the term herpes is a VERY bad idea as the images that show up may lead to suffering that no amount of meditation can cease.  I am going to focus on my breath and stop trying to take close-up selfies of my eye between chapters of Furiously Happy.