Saturday, February 6, 2016

Clip, Shift, Solder

Some people are simply not going to understand.  They think they have an idea, but they don't.  It's going to take a long time for my mind to rewire.  Five years of wiring to clip, shift, and solder.  Then there's the good parts, the memories that I can't simply shut off, because they have made me who I am today.  Many of these memories involved my children growing and learning.  To shut them down and pretend they never happened is just as damaging as compulsively reliving them.  I cannot and will not block out the half decade in which my children grew up, simply to avoid thinking of my ex. So as such this is going to be messy and sad. There is going to be mascara running rivers and eyes bloodshot swollen. There's going to be anger and blame before the acceptance. But I can do this.  I'm not scared of the dirty work, but I understand if it's painful for you all to witness.  I understand if sometimes you need to take a step (or two) back.  I won't take it personally, I've got this.