Tuesday, May 3, 2016

A Little Wine...

About two months ago, I decided to stop drinking alcohol.  I thought I was seeing a pattern of irritability and depressive moods within 24 hours of consumption.  I also noticed that I couldn't keep my big mouth shut and my opinions were suddenly VERY important and that was before I even finished my first drink.

So lastnight I had half a glass of wine with some friends.  I saw imediately why I don't drink anymore.  I noticed I was talking louder, I could feel the strain in my throat.  I felt this need to be heard, I found it hard not to interupt the person I was talking "with".  I put the word with in brackets because really it was more like I was talking at them.  I needed to sober up.  I dispised this feeling.  I went out for ice cream and sat at the docks and allowed the cool air to refresh me.  A headache came on and suddenly. I was exhausted and just wanted to be alone in my room.

I had nightmares, nightmares I haven't had since I was with my ex.  I woke up hugging myself and reminding myself that I was safe.  My side hurts like someone is stabbing it with a spoon.  My head has seen better days.  All this from half a glass of wine.

I'm glad for this experience, I'm happy for the time I spent with friends, but I can't help but feel that the time would have been better spent if I had been completely sober.