About two months ago, I decided to stop drinking alcohol. I thought I was seeing a pattern of irritability and depressive moods within 24 hours of consumption. I also noticed that I couldn't keep my big mouth shut and my opinions were suddenly VERY important and that was before I even finished my first drink.
So lastnight I had half a glass of wine with some friends. I saw imediately why I don't drink anymore. I noticed I was talking louder, I could feel the strain in my throat. I felt this need to be heard, I found it hard not to interupt the person I was talking "with". I put the word with in brackets because really it was more like I was talking at them. I needed to sober up. I dispised this feeling. I went out for ice cream and sat at the docks and allowed the cool air to refresh me. A headache came on and suddenly. I was exhausted and just wanted to be alone in my room.
I had nightmares, nightmares I haven't had since I was with my ex. I woke up hugging myself and reminding myself that I was safe. My side hurts like someone is stabbing it with a spoon. My head has seen better days. All this from half a glass of wine.
I'm glad for this experience, I'm happy for the time I spent with friends, but I can't help but feel that the time would have been better spent if I had been completely sober.