Snow has blanketed everything. There's an excitement in my chest, there's an anxiety as well. I feel like I have so much to make up for. Last year our Solstice was a success, we were sponsored by another family through the food bank and under the tree looked as full as it did before I was a lone parent. Our house was bustling with family and friends coming in and out. However there was a bumpy few weeks ahead of time where some serious healing needed to be done around past holidays. Jack shared with me his heartbreaking experience of how his father told him there was no Santa.
I know that taking on the responsibility of another's feelings is not only damaging, it's futile. It makes it hard for them to express their feelings around you. So I'm not going to go out of my way to make this the best Solstice ever. I'm simply going to love them. I'm going to love my friends, my family. I'm not giving a lot of gifts, but I will give them the gift of peace and safety. I'm going to prepare an environment of warmth and comfort by emanating those things from myself. I will love them by loving myself. I will let them see what a gift a loving community is. Also there will be food because food=love and I love food.
Over the last year the most beautiful group of people have come into our lives. My friendships have deepened and family reunited. I finally feel worthy of the amazing people in my life. Bless you all and see you at Solstice!