My daughter came to me the other day and told me she was excited because she asked one of her crushes (that's right, she's keeping her options open) to the Valentine's dance and he said "Sure, why not."
Granted the acceptance was a little lacklustre for my taste, but here's the thing: she approached him. My 11 year old, usually very shy, daughter mustered up the confidence to ask out a boy she liked.
Today, after discussing her outfit options for the dance, she mentioned she was going with her friend, not her crush. "Oh, why aren't you going with him anymore." I enquired.
"He told me he wanted to go with someone he had a crush on." She said with a non chalant shrug. I was like, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry." And I felt that familiar adolescent heart ache of the unrequited (not that that feeling is reserved for adolescents, but I digress). Though watching her body language I could tell this was not a big deal to her. She was perfectly fine and didn't seem to take it personally at all.
"It's okay, I'm going with so and so, she's my friend and she was going to be the third wheel, and now she's not."
I have succeeded in raising an adolescent girl who doesn't place her self-worth on wether or not a boy likes her back. Holy shit. That's the parenting mother-load right fucking there.
Sometimes it's important to pat yourself on the back.
Now, to help her maintain that self confidence and independence over the next 7 years. I got this.