Saturday, September 26, 2015
The morning was a blur of sky trains and buses. Quick showers, iPad reconnections Facebook reunions. I couldn't settle. Old fears emerged. My brain played out negative scenarios while I planned escape routes. My goodness I have work to do. It's amazing how shy one can feel around someone they had known so intimately over a decade before. Skype and Facebook messages over a month and a half, haven't made it easy for me to meet his eyes for long periods of time. I feel like we are starting all over again, but my heart is so guarded. I feel my chest muscles tighten like I'm crossing my arms in front of me. This is not how I saw things playing out. I keep thinking that this is weakness, but one should not force open the bud of a young flower, but marvel in the beauty of it's pedals unfolding.