Scrub Jays. Today I saw Scrub Jays (actually Steller's Jays scrub Jay being my childhood nick name for them) Since I was Jack's age, I would open my National Geographic North American wildlife book, open it to the "Jay" pages and read. I would draw them incessantly, promising myself I would see all three. I grew up around Blue Jays, my first Grey Jay I saw with Scott and the kids on a hike. Today, in Nanaimo, I saw my first Scrub Jays. Another bucket wish list checked.
Walked downtown Nanaimo, probably in the most round about way possible. The snacks I packed were left behind by Jack, so saving money like I planned, is not happening. We found Lois Lane, and ventured into a comic shop there. That is where they spent Nana Hill's souvenir money :). Waiting to eat is not going to stop the fact that I need to spend money on eating. We just got to a park that Jooniper has renamed the Awesomeness Park, and I'm totally hungry. It's amazing how things can suddenly look up after getting a few carbs and protein into you. We shared a single fish and chip basket. Yep, I had fish. I craved it, I was on the seaside and I needed quick protein. It was great, and the perfect amount of fries. My kids finished them and felt full. All three of us fed for $11.00. Not bad.
I held a sea star in my hand. It was deep red with white speckles. We counted them clinging to the rocks and docks. A 3 inch jelly fish undulated by, the first live one we've seen so far.
The neighbours were arguing last night, it brought back many awful memories and moments I am not proud of. Why did I stay and fight? Why did I argue for hours to prove that my feelings were valid and important? Why did I base my self worth on his opinion? So many hours I spent trying to make up with him that I should have been spending with my children... I can't go back, so now is the time to model compassion and understanding for my children, to prove to them that their feelings are important. We can live a peaceful life again.
My cousin is home today, I wonder what adventure we will embark on together?